Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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