Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
