My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
