We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i need some magic done to my vagina
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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