every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
