Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
