I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
