i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
