Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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