One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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