You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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