WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize