why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO