You just made me feel so damn special
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"