Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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