Your mouth is God's brothel.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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