"it" just moved
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You left your phone here
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