just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she smelled like a LAN party
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He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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