I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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