im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
