You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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