What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
