I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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