I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
