Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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