Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
