She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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