Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I want a musical about memes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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