kristin has been a bad kristin
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
