Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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