he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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