You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
