shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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