I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
