butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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