I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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