i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
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I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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