i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
