...so i touched it.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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