I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
