Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
