He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
