I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
