I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
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