I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
