Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize