I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
