sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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