How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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