I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
