just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
