oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize