Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
