ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
