I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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