I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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