I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
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and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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