the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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