I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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