What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
