So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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