My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My dick has a subreddit
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
