Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
