Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
