I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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