your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
