It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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